Getting Revenge on Spammers with the Help of LinkedIn

With social networking all the craze these days, it's been interesting for me, a student of human nature, to observe this phenomenon. Not only from the sidelines, which is what I was prone to until recently, but now as a somewhat unwilling participant. Let me explain:

I am a "face-to-face people person." There is so much value in face-to-face conversations which include eye contact, body language, and back and forth interaction (as opposed to one-sided dialogue, one sound-bite at a time). And since I am a "huggy" sort of person, I appreciate the opportunity to give, or receive, a quick hug when a conversation warrants a little human touch and understanding. There's no substitute for a quick hug just to say "I'm glad to see you!" or "I care about you" when a person is struggling with something. But, I digress....

Since we are all so busy these days and front porch swings are out, social networking has become a major way to connect. I have to admit- it's better to connect on Facebook than not connect at all. But even Facebook takes time. And it's way too easy to get sucked into spending time on finding out about who ate what for breakfast. So I was very resistant to signing up for Facebook for a long time because I'm busy! I have two kids with special needs and a business to run. I also do housework and help out at the kids' school when I can. I can hardly keep up with my emails much less add another "attention hog" to my crazy schedule.

I really resisted but the pressure mounted. It seems like every person I know is on Facebook. The last words I would hear after a coffee date and hug were, "It's been great seeing you again! You've just GOT to get on Facebook so we can stay in touch!"

The breaking point was when my kids' grandma (my mother-in-law) joined Facebook. I observed how hip she seemed when talking with the family teenagers about it and sharing how she had connected with a friends she hadn't seen in fifty years which resulted in a wonderful dinner date. Aha!! The personal connection link! Maybe Facebook would be a good idea after all. So, I succumbed to the pressure and signed up. And, I have to admit, it's pretty cool. I don't spend a whole lot of time on it but every now and then, it's fun to pop on and see what's up with others or share a big happening in my own life.

So, as a professional, I decided to join LinkedIn- sort of the Facebook version of the business world. I like the idea of having a professional profile that people can see and learn about my business. And, from what I hear, everyone who's everyone in business needs to have a LinkedIn profile.

I signed up, created my profile and added my email addresses. And that's where I made the mistake. Not "a" mistake but THE mistake. Not knowing any better, I said, "Yes, add my whole email list to my profile so we can link up." Since this is my business list, I figured, "Why not? I'd love to know who else is on LinkedIn." 802 contacts. Wow. I didn't even realize I had that many until after I clicked the "fatal" button. Every email I had ever received from anyone was stored in my address book. I started getting last minute reservations- "buyer's remorse" if you will. What had I just done? Who were all these people?

Then, people started accepting my invitation; people I hadn't heard from in ages and who it was fun to connect with. Hmmm. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Most people, out of 802 contacts, didn't reply. No surprise. And some sent a sweet note saying, "Thanks but I don't want to join Linked In." Uh oh. That's when I realized that LinkedIn wasn't just using my email list to connect me with others within their network but was using me as a "marketing tool" to get other people to join. I didn't like the feeling I was getting about all of this... But I figured, "What can I do?" What's done is done and we'll move on.

And then, LinkedIn sent out another message "reminding" people to accept my invitation which also urges them to join- all in my name! Oh dear. I didn't know they'd do THAT. I started getting more messages from folks saying, "Nothing personal but no thanks." Busy people who had to take the time to reply to more marketing. Aren't we just barraged with it? And, I apologize to you all for pushing the wrong button! My only consolation is that, since my email browser keeps the address of every person who has ever sent me anything, it probably includes spammers. Hmm. Payback time on that one...

In conclusion and upon reflection, I learned a lesson about making sure I know exactly what I am getting into before I sign up no matter what "everyone else" says. And, that there are pros and cons to social networking like just about anything in life. Except, of course, a hug.

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Lisa C. Greene is an author, public speaker, and mom of two kids with special needs. Lisa's websites are www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com and www.HappyHeartFamilies.com. You can visit her on LinkedIn!