Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Counting on Gray Hair...

Do you ever have one of the “mommy sad” moments? When a fleeting emotion just catches you off guard and surprises you with its intensity?

The morning routine of getting kids ready for school can be a bit monotonous, even stressful at times. But this morning was fun. The kids were chatty, playful, cooperative and even ate all their breakfast (eureka!).

I sat with them in the hallway, in my robe and jammies, waiting for my carpool buddy to pick them up. Sitting on the stairs with the kids towering above me, my daughter noticed a gray hair. “Mom! You have a gray hair!” “That’s what happens when you get old.” “You’re not old! Let me pull it out.” “Oh that’s okay, more will just grow back.” “But it’s really noticeable!” “Okay- pull it out.” She pinches the hair tightly in between her fingers. Just then the horn honked and my daughter jumped, yanking the hair out from it’s root. “Ouch!” We all laughed and I kissed them goodbye and waved them off to school.

As I closed the door, still smiling, the emotion hit. I love them so much. They are such great kids. (Even though there are times that they drive me nuts with their typical kid antics like fighting with each other or leaving their junk everywhere for the “maid” aka “m.o.m”.) I can’t imagine life without them. Someday, they are going to grow up and move out and I won’t hear their excited giggles or wild laughter or find their handprints all over my freshly cleaned stainless steel appliances. I might actually miss having a warm little body come into our room at night, waking me up, and snuggling in to the “big bed” because of a scary dream.

I know they’ll grow up; they are growing up right before my eyes. I guess this is probably something all moms feel. But the emotion of the moment is especially poignant because I realize that they might “leave” home in a different way. Having what is still termed a “life-shortening illness” despite the great medical advances that continue to occur at an accelerated pace, makes me feel especially affected by the moment.

Sometimes I’m almost afraid to love them but I can’t help myself. So for now, I guess I’ll continue to enjoy our time together, moment by moment. For now, I’ll put my hope in God’s promise not to give me more than I can handle. And for now, I’ll continue to grow gray hair and keep up the faith that I’ll see theirs’ turn gray someday, too.

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Lisa C. Greene is the mother of two children with cystic fibrosis, a certified parent coach and public speaker. She is also the co-author with Foster Cline MD of the award-winning Love and Logic book “Parenting Children with Health Issues.” For more information, see www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com.

For more Tips for CF Parents, visit Lisa’s website at www.TipsForCFParents.com.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh that was such an incredibly poignant illustration. I sat here reading your post, tears streaming down my face, wondering if they will ever stop. I know all to well the exact feeling that you described perfectly. It is so incredible when you are put in such a position as this one, it truly is, as you know "fight or flight." While at times I honestly have brief moments of wanting to run from it all, it is the realization that the coping mechanisms that I exhibit now are the ones that my little girl will learn to use for her future hurdles. While I truly believe that the cure will be here in her lifetime, it does not make the reality of the disease loosen its grip on my heart.
    I found your site through Ronnie Sharpe and the Cystic Life parenting guide. My husband I are signed up for a L&L class next week. I hope to learn how to be the mom I planned to be before I had my world shift. :) I look so forward to your telecast in spring.
    Best,
    Kat

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