Helping our kids discover new talents

Love and Logic is made for moments like this:

Mom!! There's a flood in the bathroom!!" Words every parent hates to hear especially first thing in the morning.

Running into the bathroom, I discover nearly an inch of water on the floor. Luckily, the kid had the presence of mind to turn the water off at the toilet.

Grabbing towels by the handfuls, we start sopping and mopping. The urge to be really mad is overwhelming. Empathy is difficult in moments like this. "What a bummer" just doesn't seem strong enough. So, I manage to squeak out something like, "Awww maann! This is a BIG mess! Geez. I hope it doesn't ruin the walls..." Sop, sop, mop...

I have to admit my husband did a better job of not reacting. He walked in, took one look, saw that we had it handled and walked back out without a word.

We got it mopped up and thought that was the end of it. My son was responsible for getting all of the wet towels and rugs washed.

Then, the other words a parent hates to hear after a flood in the upstairs bathroom: "Mom! The stairs are all wet!" Uh oh. Water was creeping through the ceiling and dripping on the stairs. Lovely.

My son says, "Oh man. Fixing this is gonna cost me my whole allowance." Sop, sop, mop... It was really hard not to say, "Yeah- for an entire YEAR!"

Luckily, Love and Logic saved me again. I knew that it was okay to delay the consequences. I didn't have to make any life-altering parental decisions right now. Besides, I was too busy sopping, mopping, and now blotting (the drywall)...

Jake felt really bad about putting too much toilet paper down. Apparently, we've done a pretty good job of raising kids who solve their own problems. He tried to solve this one himself by re-flushing twice while the bowl slowly filled up and over the brim. Thankfully, he knew where the water turn off was located, he just didn't know which direction to turn it. The second try worked like a charm...

We briefly went through the mechanics of how toilets work and now he knows not to do that again. He offered to pay for any damage and we let him off the hook. He was very remorseful and everyone makes mistakes. In this case, the natural consequences were certainly enough to do the teaching.

Then I heard music to my parental ears, "Hey Mom! I think I discovered another talent." What's that dear?" "Doing laundry!"

Getting Revenge on Spammers with the Help of LinkedIn

With social networking all the craze these days, it's been interesting for me, a student of human nature, to observe this phenomenon. Not only from the sidelines, which is what I was prone to until recently, but now as a somewhat unwilling participant. Let me explain:

I am a "face-to-face people person." There is so much value in face-to-face conversations which include eye contact, body language, and back and forth interaction (as opposed to one-sided dialogue, one sound-bite at a time). And since I am a "huggy" sort of person, I appreciate the opportunity to give, or receive, a quick hug when a conversation warrants a little human touch and understanding. There's no substitute for a quick hug just to say "I'm glad to see you!" or "I care about you" when a person is struggling with something. But, I digress....

Since we are all so busy these days and front porch swings are out, social networking has become a major way to connect. I have to admit- it's better to connect on Facebook than not connect at all. But even Facebook takes time. And it's way too easy to get sucked into spending time on finding out about who ate what for breakfast. So I was very resistant to signing up for Facebook for a long time because I'm busy! I have two kids with special needs and a business to run. I also do housework and help out at the kids' school when I can. I can hardly keep up with my emails much less add another "attention hog" to my crazy schedule.

I really resisted but the pressure mounted. It seems like every person I know is on Facebook. The last words I would hear after a coffee date and hug were, "It's been great seeing you again! You've just GOT to get on Facebook so we can stay in touch!"

The breaking point was when my kids' grandma (my mother-in-law) joined Facebook. I observed how hip she seemed when talking with the family teenagers about it and sharing how she had connected with a friends she hadn't seen in fifty years which resulted in a wonderful dinner date. Aha!! The personal connection link! Maybe Facebook would be a good idea after all. So, I succumbed to the pressure and signed up. And, I have to admit, it's pretty cool. I don't spend a whole lot of time on it but every now and then, it's fun to pop on and see what's up with others or share a big happening in my own life.

So, as a professional, I decided to join LinkedIn- sort of the Facebook version of the business world. I like the idea of having a professional profile that people can see and learn about my business. And, from what I hear, everyone who's everyone in business needs to have a LinkedIn profile.

I signed up, created my profile and added my email addresses. And that's where I made the mistake. Not "a" mistake but THE mistake. Not knowing any better, I said, "Yes, add my whole email list to my profile so we can link up." Since this is my business list, I figured, "Why not? I'd love to know who else is on LinkedIn." 802 contacts. Wow. I didn't even realize I had that many until after I clicked the "fatal" button. Every email I had ever received from anyone was stored in my address book. I started getting last minute reservations- "buyer's remorse" if you will. What had I just done? Who were all these people?

Then, people started accepting my invitation; people I hadn't heard from in ages and who it was fun to connect with. Hmmm. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Most people, out of 802 contacts, didn't reply. No surprise. And some sent a sweet note saying, "Thanks but I don't want to join Linked In." Uh oh. That's when I realized that LinkedIn wasn't just using my email list to connect me with others within their network but was using me as a "marketing tool" to get other people to join. I didn't like the feeling I was getting about all of this... But I figured, "What can I do?" What's done is done and we'll move on.

And then, LinkedIn sent out another message "reminding" people to accept my invitation which also urges them to join- all in my name! Oh dear. I didn't know they'd do THAT. I started getting more messages from folks saying, "Nothing personal but no thanks." Busy people who had to take the time to reply to more marketing. Aren't we just barraged with it? And, I apologize to you all for pushing the wrong button! My only consolation is that, since my email browser keeps the address of every person who has ever sent me anything, it probably includes spammers. Hmm. Payback time on that one...

In conclusion and upon reflection, I learned a lesson about making sure I know exactly what I am getting into before I sign up no matter what "everyone else" says. And, that there are pros and cons to social networking like just about anything in life. Except, of course, a hug.

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Lisa C. Greene is an author, public speaker, and mom of two kids with special needs. Lisa's websites are www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com and www.HappyHeartFamilies.com. You can visit her on LinkedIn!

Counting on Gray Hair...

Do you ever have one of the “mommy sad” moments? When a fleeting emotion just catches you off guard and surprises you with its intensity?

The morning routine of getting kids ready for school can be a bit monotonous, even stressful at times. But this morning was fun. The kids were chatty, playful, cooperative and even ate all their breakfast (eureka!).

I sat with them in the hallway, in my robe and jammies, waiting for my carpool buddy to pick them up. Sitting on the stairs with the kids towering above me, my daughter noticed a gray hair. “Mom! You have a gray hair!” “That’s what happens when you get old.” “You’re not old! Let me pull it out.” “Oh that’s okay, more will just grow back.” “But it’s really noticeable!” “Okay- pull it out.” She pinches the hair tightly in between her fingers. Just then the horn honked and my daughter jumped, yanking the hair out from it’s root. “Ouch!” We all laughed and I kissed them goodbye and waved them off to school.

As I closed the door, still smiling, the emotion hit. I love them so much. They are such great kids. (Even though there are times that they drive me nuts with their typical kid antics like fighting with each other or leaving their junk everywhere for the “maid” aka “m.o.m”.) I can’t imagine life without them. Someday, they are going to grow up and move out and I won’t hear their excited giggles or wild laughter or find their handprints all over my freshly cleaned stainless steel appliances. I might actually miss having a warm little body come into our room at night, waking me up, and snuggling in to the “big bed” because of a scary dream.

I know they’ll grow up; they are growing up right before my eyes. I guess this is probably something all moms feel. But the emotion of the moment is especially poignant because I realize that they might “leave” home in a different way. Having what is still termed a “life-shortening illness” despite the great medical advances that continue to occur at an accelerated pace, makes me feel especially affected by the moment.

Sometimes I’m almost afraid to love them but I can’t help myself. So for now, I guess I’ll continue to enjoy our time together, moment by moment. For now, I’ll put my hope in God’s promise not to give me more than I can handle. And for now, I’ll continue to grow gray hair and keep up the faith that I’ll see theirs’ turn gray someday, too.

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Lisa C. Greene is the mother of two children with cystic fibrosis, a certified parent coach and public speaker. She is also the co-author with Foster Cline MD of the award-winning Love and Logic book “Parenting Children with Health Issues.” For more information, see www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com.

For more Tips for CF Parents, visit Lisa’s website at www.TipsForCFParents.com.

CF Mom: Super Sleuth Extraordinaire

My 8 year old daughter has cystic fibrosis and takes about 10 to 12 different prescriptions each day to keep things working right in her little body. We just started two new medications- an antibiotic and a steroid to try and combat the chronic cough she has been unable to shake since last December. I carefully queried the doctors and pharmacist about drug interactions, possible side effects, etc. Sounds like it should be fine so I gave her the first doses of both drugs last night before bed.

She woke up this morning complaining of pain in her thighs, knees and ankles; pain so bad it was hard for her to sit in the chair and eat breakfast. I grab the paperwork from the pharmacist- you know the ones with microscopic fine print about drug reactions. Nothing mentioned in there about muscle pain. But everything else I read scared me to half to death. “Honey, if you get a rash or a bad tummy ache or blood in your pee, be sure to tell mommy right away.” “Okay,” she says. Hmm. A search on the internet doesn’t tell me anything new. “Honey, if you have really dark colored poo or you start to throw up, be sure to tell mommy.” “Okay,” she says.

We decide to wait for a couple of hours to see what happens; she can call me from school if it gets worse. I give her ibuprofen to help her feel better. We finish eating breakfast and head off for school.

As we drive, my son starts talking about the field and track event coming up and how he and his buddies are practicing by running around the building. Then, my daughter pipes up with, “Yeah, we had to run around that great big building FOUR TIMES yesterday in PE!” Me: “What??????” Her: “Yeah, we were really tired and our legs were hurting!” :-0

So much for being a pharmaceutical super sleuth. My daughter simply has a case of “sore muscles.” Go figure…

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Lisa Greene, BS CCP
Lisa C. Greene has been helping parents raise healthy, happy families since 2002. She is a certified parent coach, parent educator, and mother of two children with cystic fibrosis. She is also the co-author with Foster Cline MD of the award-winning book “Parenting Children with Health Issues: Essential Tools, Tips and Tactics for Raising Kids with Chronic Illness, Medical Conditions and Special Healthcare Needs.” Visit Lisa’s website at www.HappyHeartFamilies.com

Dipping My Big Toe Into the World of Blogging

Okay, I'm moving up a couple of notches in the world of technology. I have finally joined Facebook and am now creating a new blog. Isn't this an amazing time and place we live in?

I'll post my experiences with my two kids here and my thoughts about parenting. I have a rather unique perspective on parenting because I am a parent educator, a parent coach and a mom- all at the same time.

I'm also the co-author of a Love and Logic book called Parenting Children with Health Issues. I wrote this book with Foster Cline MD who is a child psychiatrist and co-founder of Love and Logic.

Both of my kids have cystic fibrosis so this book has been a real blessing to me and my family. I wanted to write it because there isn't another book out there like it and I knew I really needed it. Plus I knew it would help many others, too, and Dr. Cline was kind enough to agree to help me. So, I've learned an awful lot since we started this project in 2004 and I am excited to share with you.

With kids, there is never a dull moment. They continually cook up the unexpected. So, I get to experiment first-hand with all of the new parenting tools I learn and will have plenty of stories to share with you. I hope my experiences will give you some insight and tips for parenting your own kids, too.

So, welcome to my blog and I hope you pop in often to see what's up!

Happy Parenting!